Everyone one of us has someone, or some people who simply loves us, regardless of our condition, character, idiosyncrasies or other people’s thoughts and opinions about us. They have taken the time to get to know us and see us for what we are, who we have become and who we can become. They are constantly there for us, they appreciate us, and we do not have to pay a fee for their love, care, support and counsel. But their support can only be healthy and useful if we are objective and honest about what we tell them, and if we are receptive to their very candid but loving and truthful advise and feedback. We always have choices, so we can choose to listen to people who say what they think we want to hear, or what they want us to hear, or we can choose to listen to what we really don’t want to hear, but should hear. Are we afraid to surround ourselves with the type of people who are not scared to be straight forward with us? The Reminder calls them our healthy support circle.
Our healthy support circle:
- Respects our intelligence, believes in us, but will look us in the eye and tell us the truth, not to show off, be savvy, or controlling, but to assist us in seeing things for what they are, and help us walk through very tough decisions and very difficult times.
- Forces us to dig deep, to take our eyes off other people, and challenge us to take the higher ground so that we make the healthiest decisions for all, not just for the self.
- Lays the truth on us because they genuinely care. They make us understand that it is not a matter of being right or wrong, but about how we handle situations.
- Never allows us to lose sight of the fact that we have the ability and the choice to make decisions with the power and the attitude of a person who at the crux of it all, will end up doing that which is best for all.
- Teaches us skills and knowledge that will equip and empower us to survive both our work and personal life challenges.
- Knows that sometimes we will not listen to advise, but will still impart wisdom to assist us in preventing our own demise.
- Knows when to step back and not say anything and allow life to teach us certain lessons we really need to learn on our own. They’ll be there for us when we are broken, need a shoulder, and a kind word.
- Does not seek our worship or need accolades from us.
“Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.” ~Pythagoras
Are we surrounded by people who:
- Will be honest with us?
- Are unafraid to tell us the truth in love?
- Care enough to tell us when we are going in the wrong direction?
Who do we really prefer in our lives? The people:
- Who lie to us to make us feel good?
- Who will help us cover up what we have become and not deal with it?
- Who see our shackles, torment and darkness, but tell us we are doing great?
- Who see our chains but yet tell us we are free and liberated?
- Who say to us, “Be you!” Yet it is to our detriment?
- Who cheer us on when they should be telling us to take a seat for a minute and rethink our actions?
The deeper question is do we have the capacity to:
- Be with people who are genuine, honest and upfront with us?
- Be with people who really love us, even with all our faults?
- Embrace the type of love that shows us how precious and valuable we are?
We are used to deceiving and being deceived. We are comfortable with such behavior and it has become the norm, or so it appears. We appear to enjoy lies, charm and seduction; they are the easy way out, than dealing with being honest and demanding honesty. Our mantras have become, a little lie won’t hurt, what people don’t know won’t hurt them. It seems like we have created a world where it is alright to be pretentious and superficial, as long as things are going the way we want them to. We shrug off truths and entertain lies, our own lies and that of others. We enjoy lying tongues because with them we do not have to face what we have become and who we really are, and we can continue blaming others for the way we are.
Where are we going with this? What do we hope to gain or accomplish? We are building rotten foundations that will not hold. We have succeeded in convincing ourselves and others that that is the way life is, and that we are keeping it real! What has this form of “keeping it real” done for us personally, or for humanity as a whole? HAVOC! PAIN! CHAOS! DEPRESSION! HATE! DAMAGE!
Can we handle authenticity? Or are we too deep in being comfortable with people we lie to, and who lie to us, because we self-idolize and want to be worshiped, and we crave for our egos to be massaged with accolades and flattery? Perhaps we are afraid of authentic truth, love and kindness. We are not used to being treated with such beautiful virtues, or giving and expressing them to someone else. Perhaps we are afraid of people who make us look in the mirror to see what we have really become. Perhaps we are afraid of people who genuinely love and believe in us. We are not used to it, it is not familiar and it leaves us feeling uncomfortable and afraid. Perhaps we are so shattered inside from this journey called life and all that we have been through, that authentic love, with all its joy, peace and acceptance that it comes with, frightens us.
But there ARE people out there who can, who will, and who CHOOSE to loves us, and that, is a reality!
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Gather the courage, and allow yourself, to be genuinely loved and authentically valued!
Will you be loved?